Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
