at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize
