he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
