i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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