I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Randomize
