my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
i think we sleep fucked last night...
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
