I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
