And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
