i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
