oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
