Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
