You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
