i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
