I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I can't put those talents on a resume
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Randomize
