you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
