We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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