I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
My bed smells like the plague
Randomize
