i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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