My sheets look like a crime scene.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
