I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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