she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
