She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
it's like heaven, but drunker
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
