This dress was meant to end up on your floor
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
