They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
