being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
My life is pants optional.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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