In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
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