Small penises have feelings too.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
