the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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