I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
