My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
