im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
