You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
