So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
