the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
