That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
