Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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