By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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