Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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