Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
