please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
