so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
