You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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