OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
