there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
