Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
