I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
