she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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