Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Randomize
