Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Randomize
