: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Please, let me fuck your mom
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
