I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
