i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
